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There are many questions you’ll have when you choose adoption, and one of those may be how to talk about infertility in your adoption profile.
Infertility is incredibly hard to deal with. Many of us spend our youth dreaming of the family we will have one day. And, when it comes time to plan, there are few things worse than finding out that it’s not going to happen the easy way. It’s…hard. Devastating. Disappointing. It’s also, unfortunately, a common issue in the United States.
Not everyone is led to adoption because of infertility or issues with reproductive health, but, many are! And to those who are, we’d like to say – hello. We see you. We feel you. Our hearts go out to you.
If you’re here because of infertility, you might be wondering how you should address infertility in your adoption profile. It’s one of those sensitive topics in your adoption profile that can be hard to talk about, let alone – write about! You might find this helpful.
Your adoption profile is your first opportunity to connect with a potential birth mom (expectant mother). It’s natural that she will wonder why you are hoping to adopt. We always recommend briefly touching on your motivation for adopting, whether you are facing infertility or simply find it to be the best way to grow your family.
When talking about infertility, pause and take a minute to breathe. Remember that this is the first time you are “meeting” a stranger, so you do not want to overwhelm them or put the weight on their shoulders. You could say something like,
Avoid using the term “naturally,” as something like “Even though we can’t have a child naturally,” can imply that adoption is unnatural. There are some other things you shouldn’t say in your adoption profile as well, so make sure you’re up to date on positive adoption language.
We certainly do not want you to leave out the truth, especially when it is such an important part of your life story. But – talking too much about infertility can make it sound like you are still deeply grieving this loss. And while we know it’s not something you really “get over,” a birth mom may not think you are ready to welcome a child into your family. She also might feel like you are trying to guilt her into choosing you. That is definitely not how you want her to feel!
With that being said, we recommend talking about infertility in your “Our Story” section only. Of course – this is just a general guideline. Talk with our team if you have any concerns or feel like it needs to be mentioned more! We’re happy to discuss this with you and figure out the best way to honor your experience.
It’s impossible to but a positive spin on everything. But, how has infertility changed you? Has it made you a stronger couple? Has it made you appreciate what you have in life? Sharing how it has affected you can be a moment where you really connect with the reader. Remember that when talking about infertility. Although it has taken so much from you – hopes, dreams, energy, and time – reflect on how it has only made your desire to grow your family stronger.
You are unique, and your adoption profile should be unique too. No adoption profile is one-size-fits-all. We can help you figure out how to talk about infertility or other sensitive topics. Talk to us – we will walk with you every step of the way.