Baby Steps for the Grown Ups

For over 20 years I have talked about adopting. It was not
something that I said in passing, it wasn’t a phase, it was something that my
heart has always wanted to do. When Adam and I had our first date, we discussed
adoption in the first hour of talking. Our first date was rapid and filled with
inquiries about everything from sports, to religion, to travel, to adoption and
our future ideas aligned with each other so well. This date led to a second
date and a third and eventually marriage and two biological sons. The
discussion of adoption has progressed, and the “talks” turned into
calls, into research, into applications and now we are here. We took baby steps
to get here because we had to start the process when we knew we were mentally
ready for the challenges, potential heartbreak and the ups and downs that are
ahead. 

We have been lucky and have two biological sons. But, it wasn’t
an easy journey. Horrific delivery with one, miscarriage with another son in
between, and then a similarly horrific pregnancy the third time around. These
boys are so fun, creative and loving and fill our hearts. But, we are not
complete. We could try to have another biological child and maybe the 4th time
would be easier all around, but that is not what our hearts are telling us. We
are not looking for easy. We are looking for what is right for us…and that is
adoption. 

We are quick and make decisions easily. We have been together
for 12 years and every step of the way seemed to flow like it should. Yeah,
there were surprises. There was heartbreak. There were days that felt like
everything was falling apart, but we got through. We have taken a much slower
approach to adoption than anything else in our lives because it feels more
critical. It feels like it is bigger than us and we are not able to navigate
like all other aspects of our lives…but that is OK with us. 

We cannot control the outcome
of our journey, but we can do all we can to show an expectant mother that we
would offer a safe, inclusive, loving, caring, compassionate, supportive and
all in fun home to grow up in. The world can be a scary place and we want to do
all we can to make it better for our children. All children deserve love and
support, but it doesn’t have to come from the traditional ways. Adoption is a
magical and amazing option for so many children, and we hope to one day be able
to expand our family this way.