Letters from Your Future Aunts & Uncles – Part I

I find that one of the hardest parts about this process has been talking about ourselves. Avram and I are very kind, outgoing people but we are also quite humble and are not very comfortable speaking about ourselves. Luckily, I have 6 younger siblings who are all so excited to welcome a niece or nephew into our family that they just jumped at the fact to write about us…

 

This first letter is from my oldest (younger) sister, Lara, who also happens to be adopted. I will always remember the day my dad brought her home.  I was 11 and I refused to let her go – I just loved her so much!

–       Jackie

I was adopted at birth and truly won the lottery because I got Jackie as my big sister. Even though Jackie and I are 11 years apart, Jackie has always played a huge and important role in my life, from as early as I can remember. If we get into semantics, Jackie is “technically” my half-sister because we have the same Dad. I’ve never considered Jackie a “half” sibling nor has anyone in our family.. There was never anything “half” about Jackie. Even though she primarily lived with her mom in NYC and came out to Long Island to spend every other weekend with us, it truly never felt that way.

Jackie was, and still is, hands down the most amazing sister. She was at every birthday party, every school play, every camp visiting day, every family vacation, you name it, Jackie was there. Jackie helped make my childhood so much fun. She loved to dress us up in her clothes and teach us songs to perform. I used to always beg her to wake me up for a midnight snack so I could see her and spend more time with her. However, I usually was too tired to wake up for the “midnight” snack (aka 9pm or 10pm) and would go right back to sleep. Even though I was always too tired to get up, she still would come bearing snacks, because I asked her to. If you ask any of Jackie’s siblings, you’ll hear about how much we love her, how much we adore her, and how she’s truly the best sister ever.

My mom died when I was 10. Jackie was close to finishing up her college career, close to graduating, and ready to take on the world and begin the next stage of her life, as an adult. Jackie essentially put her life on hold to be there for us and to help my Dad with my siblings and I when he needed it. There aren’t many 21-22 year olds that would do that. Jackie is always there for me when I ask her to be and when I need her to be. She came down to Florida for a week when I broke my back when I was 20. She spent hours in target searching for clothes that would fit over the huge, thick, plastic brace that I had to wear. She quickly came down to Virginia the second she got home after a summer in Greece, to come meet my son/her nephew, because I had gone into labor a week or so after she left for the summer. She came down to Virginia for a couple of days to help me out and help with my toddler when I had abdominal surgery. She came down to Virginia last summer to help me set up, decorate, and celebrate my sons’ 5th and 1st double birthday party. She goes above and beyond for her family and those she loves and she never asks for or expects anything in return… except for the two times she jokingly asked me if I could please go into labor before she had to leave for Greece for the summer. I really tried but unfortunately I couldn’t make that happen. But, if the roles were reversed, I bet you anything that Jackie would have made it happen.

One of the huge advantages of Jackie being much older than her siblings, is that she has tons of experience with children of all ages. Not only does she have tons of experience, she is truly wonderful with children and beyond knowledgeable, with what seems like anything and everything. Whenever a birthday or holiday rolls around, I always ask Jackie to send me a list of the best age appropriate toys so I know what to get for my kids- who absolutely adore her. Not only is Jackie the best big sister, but she is a fantastic Aunt. I can’t even say it’s special treatment because she’s like that with all children. I’m fairly certain that a majority of Jackie’s friends’ children consider her and call her Aunt Jackie.

If God forbid something ever happened to me, Jackie and Avram are the people who I’d want to raise my children. I know with absolute certainty, that my children would be in the best hands. I know without a shadow of a doubt, that my children would be extremely well cared for and that they would be loved unconditionally.

In all the years I’ve known Avram, I have not had one negative thing to say about him. He is a responsible, caring, loving, devoted, supportive, and doting husband to Jackie,  father to Al, and doggy daddy to Beau. He’s been an amazing brother-in-law to my siblings and I, and he’s the best uncle to my children. When our father was diagnosed with leukemia, Avram drove a few hours from New Jersey all the way out to our parents’ house on Long Island, just to drop off coffee for Jackie and my sisters. Mind you, this was well before Jackie and Avram got married. That’s just the kind of heart Avram has. You can see just how much Avram loves Jackie just by the way he looks at her. My children love and adore Avram. My oldest always talks about how Uncle Avram showed him how to make a bug. Avram patiently sat and showed him how to make a bug for fly fishing. He also can always depend on Uncle Avram to be silly and make him laugh.

Let me close by saying that I truly admire you for your strength, your selflessness, and for the love that you have for your child, as you make your birth plan. I hope that after you’ve read this, it will have helped make this choice, even just the tiniest amount, less difficult for you and that  it will instill confidence and bring you a sense of peace, knowing that you’ve made the best choice for your child, because Jackie and Avram will truly love them unconditionally and be the most wonderful parents.